“No Love Like a Family’s Love”
Rev. Dr. David E. Gray
Bradley Hills Presbyterian Church
May 9, 2010
Deuteronomy 5:16
In Bible study this week we talked about a cartoon of a little boy who returned home from school and his mother asked him what he did in school that day. He blurted out, “today we painted ‘I love you’ pictures for our moms for Mother’s Day, but I can’t tell you because it’s a secret.”
We don’t need to be shy about telling our mothers “I love you.” Saying “I love you” is one of the nicest things we can do, today of all days. It’s one of the nicest things we can say to any family member. It should be part of our family story. It’s one of the nicest things we can say to anyone in our lives, including in our church lives. Especially when that church seeks to be a place of love.
Let us pray. Gracious God, may your Holy Spirit penetrate our hearts, minds, souls and strength this morning, so that we might love you and each other with all our being. Amen.
For Mother’s Day we read the commandment to honor our father and mother. The books of Deuteronomy and Exodus contain the ten commandments God gave to Moses to tell the people of God how to relate to their creator and to each other. The first four commandments have to do with our relationship with God, and the last six with our relationship with each other. The first commandment in the section about our relationship with each other is for us to honor our parents. The Israelites were to “honor” their father and mother and so have long life in the land God had given them.
Honoring parents for the ancient Hebrews meant taking parental thoughts seriously and passing down the stories of their culture from generation to generation. As any mother knows, it’s not always easy to get children to listen. Sometimes they need to be commanded to do so. The word “honor,” in the fifth commandment, or kabed in the Hebrew, meant to “take seriously or give weight to.” It is the opposite of “taking in vain,” or giving light attention to, used in the third commandment about taking the Lord’s name in vain. In a society where the faith identity was largely a function of passing down stories from generation to generation, it was critical to the society that children listened and respected their parents. At a time before the temples were built, the stories of creation, of liberation from Egypt and of covenant were a large part of the identity of the Hebrew people. The passing down of songs, stories, experiences and love from generation to generation was central to the Jewish identity.
Mothers and fathers share stories and pass on experiences to their children in our context too. Part of our Sunday school experience is centered on transmitting the stories of our faith in families. We share stories of trips, adventures, recipes, or the time when Mom shared a treasure she had packed away for just the right moment. I’ll share a special moment with our church men’s fellowship in a few weeks as I take my son to his first baseball game.
For children of all ages, respecting parents and listening to them is central to the Biblical understanding of “honor.” And that takes slowing down and spending time. On this Mother’s Day, one of the best ways to honor our mothers is to share a simple moment. It’s hard work raising children. So work life balance researches write that what many moms desire most of all is a bit of free time. Uninterrupted time and space from the children’s cries and from the phone’s ring. When the family and work responsibilities stop for a moment. We can honor our mothers today by giving them a break. Many researchers will say that what children desire most is uninterrupted time. Time with parents when they are not distracted by cell phones, blackberries, computers or televisions and can focus on the children. Parents and children want time. It reminds us that the commandment that precedes the commandment to honor our parents is the commandment to observe the Sabbath. Taking time from labors allows time to marinate the love that is needed for family.
Mother’s Day can bring a variety of emotions for many of us. It can bring pride in one’s role as a parent and thanks to God for getting us through the ups and downs of childrearing. For others it brings gratitude and appreciation for the time and effort of parents in one’s life. For those caring for parents, you honor them with your care. This is a day when many whose mothers are no longer with us on earth in flesh will reflect and remember. For those for whom prayers of becoming a mother have yet to be answered, today we join you in your hope. For those whose relationships with parents or children are strained this community joins in hopes of reconciliation. For those parents who worry about the safety, jobs, relationships or future of their children or of themselves, we join together with you in prayer.
We share the emotions of Mother’s Day together at Bradley Hills because we seek to be a place where everyone in our family of faith feels loved.
As Cindy indicated, a family can be wherever love is. There are many different kinds of families. No matter if we are our own version of “Jon and Kate Plus Eight” and have more family around at times than we know what to do with or if we don’t live with others, this church can be a family to all of us if it’s a place of love. The Bible is full of examples of strong love between good friends, like Ruth and Naomi or Jonathan and David, who were united by love, rather than blood. There is a story in the Hebrew tradition about why God chose to build the first great temple of Jerusalem where God did. “Two friends in Jerusalem shared ownership of a mill for grinding grain. One was a bachelor; the other was married with three children. At the end of each day, they took the grain they had milled and divided it equally into separate sacks. One night the bachelor thought, “This is not right. I am alone and don’t need much, but my friend has a wife and family. He deserves the larger share.” So, sneaking back to the mill each night, he took part of his share and poured it into his friend’s sack. The married friend also thought one night, “This is not right. When I am old, I will have children to support me, but my friend will not. He deserves the larger share.” So, sneaking back to the mill each night, he took part of his share and poured it into his friend’s sack. They thought it was a miracle to find their sacks refilled each morning. One night, however, the friends left home at the same time to sneak back to the mill and by coincidence met on the streets with their sacks in hand. Instantly they knew what had happened and fell into each other’s arms weeping. God looked down upon the scene and said, ‘Here is where love meets. Here I will build my temple.’”
Let’s make this temple of God a generous place where love meets. Not that we as a church family won’t have our disagreements. We disagree about activities we are planning, about our visions for the future and even about theology. But like many families in the Bible, our church family can disagree and still love each other. The Israelites honored their mothers and fathers by sharing the songs, stories, experiences and love of their past with the next generation. We can do the same in our biological and spiritual families.
For children of all ages, respecting parents and listening to their wisdom is central to the Biblical understanding of honor. Parents go to the trouble of sharing and teaching because they believe it’s in the best interest of their children. This is a form of love. Parents sacrifice for their children because they love them.
And during this season of Easter we recognize that we learn about parental sacrifice, about the sharing of wisdom and about love from God, our Heavenly parent. The New Testament bears witness that those who follow God in Christ are part of the same spiritual family. The concept of being “born again” links family to spirituality. God is a parent who gives spiritual birth to God’s people and who loves them. The Gospel writer John said that when we receive God into our lives we become children of God. The Apostle Paul wrote that the people of God are “adopted” into God’s family through Christ. It is God who sacrifices part of Godself in Christ for our sakes. God shared wisdom and knowledge, such as the commandments, and guides us in prayer through the Holy Spirit. God is the ultimate source and author of love. God’s character is fundamentally about love. And where do we humans first learn about that incredible, divine, life giving, ‘crazy little thing called love’? We first learn about love from our mothers.
One of my favorite stories that I hear parents read to their children is Robert Munsch’s “Love You Forever.” He writes,
“A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she held him, she sang: “I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.”
The baby grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was two years old, and he ran all around the house. He pulled all the books off the shelves. He pulled all the food out of the refrigerator and he took his mother's watch and flushed it down the toilet. Sometimes his mother would say, "This kid is driving me CRAZY!" But at night time, when that two-year-old was quiet, she opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor, looked up over the side of his bed; and if he was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. While she rocked him she sang: “I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.”
The little boy grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was nine years old. And he never wanted to come in for dinner, he never wanted to take a bath, and when grandma visited he always said bad words. Sometimes his mother wanted to sell him to the zoo!
But at night time, when he was asleep, the mother quietly opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor and looked up over the side of the bed. If he was really asleep, she picked up that nine-year-old boy and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she rocked him she sang: “I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.”
The boy grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a teenager. He had strange friends and he wore strange clothes and he listened to strange music. Sometimes the mother felt like she was in a zoo!
But at night time, when that teenager was asleep, the mother opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor and looked up over the side of the bed. If he was really asleep she picked up that great big boy and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. While she rocked him she sang: “I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.”
That teenager grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a grown-up man. He left home and got a house across town. But sometimes on dark nights the mother got into her car and drove across town. If all the lights in her son's house were out, she opened his bedroom window, crawled across the floor, and looked up over the side of his bed. If that great big man was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she rocked him she sang: “I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.”
Well, that mother, she got older. She got older and older and older. One day she called up her son and said, "You'd better come see me because I'm very old and sick." So her son came to see her. When he came in the door she tried to sing the song. She sang:
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always...
But she couldn't finish because she was too sick. The son went to his mother. He picked her up and rocked her back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And he sang this song:
I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my Mommy you'll be.
When the son came home that night, he stood for a long time at the top of the stairs. Then he went into the room where his new baby daughter was sleeping. He picked her up in his arms and very slowly rocked her back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while he rocked her he sang: “I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.”
Each night when I put my youngest son, Brendan, to sleep, I recite the Lord’s Prayer and sing to him “White Wings they never grow weary, carry me cheerily over the sea.” I’ve never heard a recording of that song. I don’t even know if I’m singing it correctly. But I can remember my mother singing that song to me as a child. I imagine I will sing it someday in a hospital room in Ohio. I sing it to Brendan to honor the mother who passed the tradition on to me.
God loves you forever and will like you for always. Even when what we do must drive God crazy or make a zoo out of life. God comes to us in love and calls on us to make our church a temple of love, so that we can hold each other when life seems to rock us too much.
“I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.” The mothers in this room have said their own version of those words in their own ways to their children many a time. We honor them by learning the lessons of love and by communicating our love to them and to the world.
We know that because of Easter, God lives. And as long as God’s living, God’s children we’ll be. Thanks be to God. Amen.
