Rev. Dr. Douglas Oldenburg
It’s Your Choice!
Philippians 4: 4-13
Douglas W. Oldenburg
Paul was in prison, and he had a fundamental choice to make. He could have chosen to be bitter, focusing on the negative, on all that was wrong with his life, on all he had lost; but instead, he chose to focus on the positive, on all he still had.
Like most sermons, I rather imagine his letter to the Philippians was written as much to himself as it was to them. Being in prison, he had every reason to be depressed, but instead he wrote, “Rejoice in the Lord always.” He had every reason to complain and plead with God about his dire circumstances, but instead he wrote, “I have learned to be content with whatever I have.” He had every reason to look on the dark side of his circumstances, but instead we wrote, “…whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, …if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” He had every reason to give up, but instead he wrote, “I press on…I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”
Yes, I rather imagine he was writing to himself as much as he was to others, for he had a fundamental choice to make, and we do too. All of us know that many things happen to us over which we have very little control. For instance, we do not choose to get sick or suffer a heart attack, or to be hit by a drink driver, or to lose our job, or a hundred other things that happen to us. We often encounter things that are beyond our control.
You see, the truth is that we are not always free to determine what happens to us, but we are relatively free to determine how we will respond to every event that comes along. No, it is not always easy to make the right choice, but to a large extent, it is still our choice to make. Or as someone has said, “We cannot revoke what has happened to us at the level of event, but we can rework it at the level of significance. We cannot change what has already happened to us, but we can choose the meaning of it for us. That choice makes all the difference in the world.
I want to suggest that the most important choice we make in life is whether we choose to be grateful. That’s the choice Paul made, and we can choose it, too.
For instance, when those difficult and painful days come our way, the choice that is always ours is this: We can ask the resentment question, “Why has this happened to me?” Or we can choose the gratitude question, “What is there in this for which to be thankful, that can be used for my growth and to build a better future?”
We can respond to any given event by concentrating on the negative, on what is going against us, on what we have lost, on the cup half empty; OR we can respond by focusing on the positive, on what is going for us, on what we still have, on God’s presence and abiding love, on the cup half full. I believe the choice of resentment leads to discouragement and defeat and depression, while the choice of gratitude leads to courage and renewal of life.
Most of us have been brought up to believe that gratitude is something of an obligation. It is something we are supposed to do. We are supposed to say, “Thank you,” when something nice is done for us, and we are supposed to write all those “thank you” notes. But I want to suggest that gratitude is more of a powerful resource for living life to the fullest, even in the most difficult times, than it is an obligation to perform.
Gratitude is the way of getting in touch with what you have going for you amid all that may be going against you. Thus, it becomes a source of creative energy that enables you to overcome the obstacles of life rather than be overcome by them. Instead of being just a social obligation, I am suggesting that there is a functional value of gratitude that provides tremendous resources of living through the worst of times, for it benefits the one who chooses it and gives it. More than anything else I know, gratitude makes the difference between just getting by and making the most out of life. In every situation in life, we have a choice to make, a choice of what we will maximize and what we will minimize, and the person who has learned to choose gratitude, for the positive in the midst of the negative, is far better equipped to cope with whatever comes, and to make the best of things in the worst of times.
So if you are going through difficult days today, if you are walking through some dark valley, you have a choice to make: resentment or gratitude. I urge you to choose gratitude, the most important choice in the world.
But there is another situation in which gratitude is a choice. It is not only a choice we make when confronted with difficult days, but also a choice we make when going through the good ones, when things are going right.
One of the fundamental beliefs of our society is that success comes to those who work hard. It is part of the American credo in this land of opportunity. The rewards you receive in life, we tell our children, will be commensurate to the effort and work you put into it. You reap what you sow. Therefore, we look at people who have reached the “top” and are successful in their career as those who deserve it because of their talent and hard work. Let’s admit it. We often look at ourselves that way too, don’t we?
Moses warned the Israelites as they were about to enter the promised land about this temptation and tendency to take themselves too seriously. He said: When you are on top of the pile and basking in all your wealth and success, beware lest you say in your heart, “my power, my brilliance, my brains and my hard work have gotten me all this success and wealth.” Yes, I am afraid that many successful people in our society make that choice and capitulate to the temptation of pride.
But still, I was stuck by a survey a few years ago (I believe it was in Fortune magazine) of corporate managers regarding their own understanding of the reasons for their success in business. One would think that they would reflect the old American credo about how hard work and long hours lead to success. One would think they would have leaned back in their leather executive swivel chairs and talked about all the smart decisions they had made along the way. But, surprisingly, they didn’t. Instead, they had the candor to confess that much of their success could only be explained by what they called “sheer luck.” They said that they just happened to be at the right place at the right time and knew the right people and made a lucky decision. To quote the report of the research among these CEO’s: “It is striking how often managers explain their own career patterns and those of others in terms of luck.”
Of course that doesn’t explain it all. Of course it is not the whole truth. But there is a lot of truth in it. I think that such candid confession is good for the soul, for it cuts through our pride and keeps us from taking ourselves too seriously. It leads to the choice of gratitude.
When I look back over my life and ask why I was chosen to be pastor of three wonderful churches, president of a great seminary and moderator of the General Assembly when others could have been chosen, I must answer that this was a gift from God.
Yes, I know we work hard in our vocations, we strive to protect our health, we cultivate our talents, we discipline our time, and we are conscientious in fulfilling our responsibilities. In that limited sense, we are responsible for what we are and what we have. But in the final analysis, when you push the question back far enough, I must still conclude that life, good fortune, success, and good health are not something that we deserve or have earned, but it is a gift, a gift of god’s grace. And I choose to be grateful.
What about you? It’s your choice! You may take excessive pride over all you have accomplished or you may have gratitude for the gift.
But let me push my thesis a bit further and relate it to a choice we make in response to those fundamental questions of life which we all ask at one time or another. It is the question that comes to us when we realize again the infinite variety of genetic combinations, and we ask ourselves:
“Why was I born and not someone else?”
“Why was I born of my particular parents?”
“Why was I born with this particular mixture of genes, with certain intelligence and talents and gifts and disposition?”
It is a question that comes when we get in touch with history and realize again how cruel certain ages were back then.
“Why was I born now rather than then?
It is a question we ask when we see pictures of malnourished children in Afghanistan or Somalia or Haiti.
“Why was I born here and not there?”
“Why was I born in relative wealth, with plenty of food to eat rather than in such poverty?”
You see, virtually every day we see things and hear things and read things which force us to ask those basic questions. Some would choose to respond to those questions by calling it chance or fate or luck or accident or the genetic lottery. But, once again, those answers simply will not suffice for me. For when I peel away all the proposed explanations and probe the question to the core, I find that there is only one answer I can finally affirm and it is this: Life is a gift!
Perhaps that response comes not so much from my logic or reason as it does from the depth of my being. It certainly doesn’t answer all my questions, for I do not know why the gift is not given equally to all, and I still struggle with those questions. I certainly do not believe that God wills some to be healthy and wealthy and others to be poor and sick. I believe God wills the fullness of life for all of us, because god loves us all equally. I do not know why that gift of life is not given equally to all.
Of course, you may choose to answer the question of life another way, but there is something within me that compels me to answer it this way: Life is essentially a gift! Instead of being an entitlement, instead of being something I deserve, my life and your life and the lives of all our loved ones – all that we have – is finally a gift. I choose that response to life and I choose to be grateful!
I know of nowhere this fundamental conviction of life as a gift of god’s undeserved grace and this choice to be grateful even in the midst of discouraging circumstances is more movingly expressed than in the personal diary of a young man where he shares his thoughts late on night in a hospital room, sitting beside the bed of his young wife who is critically ill – worrying, waiting, wondering.
Listen to what he wrote:
“She may die before morning. But I have been with her for four years. Four years. There is no way I would feel cheated if I did not have here for another day. I never deserved her for a single moment. God knows that. And I may die before morning. What I must do is accept the justice of death and the injustice of life. I’ve lived a good life, longer than many, better than most. Tony died when he was twenty. I’ve lived 32 years. I could not ask for another day. What did I do to deserve birth? It was purely a gift! I have no right to a single moment. Some are given a single hour, yet I have been given 32 years. As of this moment I give up my right to life. And I give up my right to her life, too.
But wait! It’s morning! I am being given another day! Another day to live and read and smell and walk in glory! I am alive for another day. And she is alive! It’s another gift! Another undeserved gift. Thanks be to God!”
That’s the choice I make. It’s the choice to be profoundly grateful! What about you? Is your birth, your life, the lives of your loved ones just a matter of fate, luck, accident, the genetic lottery? Is the success you’ve achieved in life just a result of your hard work and effort? Is waking up this morning and living another day a right you have, an entitlement, something you deserve? Or is it all finally a gift of God’s undeserved grace? That’s the fundamental choice you have to make.
Now, what does all this have to do with stewardship? I trust the answer is obvious.
Wherever you are today on your journey of faith, whether you are going through good times or bad times, smooth times or rough times, successes or failures, I urge you to stop for a moment to think about all that God has given you. In the words of that old gospel hymn, “Count your blessings, name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done.”
I want especially to urge those of you who have not been in the habit of making a pledge to consider doing so this year. Of course a pledge is not legally binding and can certainly change if your own financial situation changes throughout the year. The church will understand that.
Making a pledge not only helps the church to plan its mission for the coming year, but it also helps you. Making a pledge, a commitment, enables you to discipline yourself so that your giving to the church is not based on a weekly impulse, but on the deep, fundamental and profound choice you make, the choice of gratitude.
As you consider your pledge for next year, I urge you to especially remember what God has given you in Jesus Christ. As the familiar hymn says, “Love so amazing, so divine, demands my life, my soul, my all.” And let the depth of your gratitude be clearly expressed in the gift you give so that others who haven’t received as much may share in the rich gifts god has given you.
Someone once said of a parents’ love, “You cannot pay it back. You can only pass it on.” And so it is with God’s love. You cannot pay it back, but you can pass it on. And that is what we do when we give of our money to the church.
Paul wrote to the Corinthians that in giving, “…they prove the genuineness of their faith.” In your stewardship, your pledge, your giving to the church, you prove the choice you have made and the genuineness of your gratitude.
Charge and Benediction:
“I charge you to remember this above all else:
No matter how frightening this old world may become,
No matter how frightening the circumstances of your own life
may be today or may become tomorrow,
You need not be afraid, for God goes with you.
God goes before you to guide you;
God goes beside you to be your best friend;
God goes behind you to protect you;
God goes beneath you to strengthen and support you;
God goes above you to give you vision and courage and hope;
and God goes within you to comfort you.
Remember: no matter how frightening this world may become,
no matter how frightening your own life may be today,
or may become tomorrow or next week or next month;
You need not be afraid, for God goes with you.
If you’ll remember that, then the peace of God that passes all understanding
will go with you too. Amen”
